


The Road Less Traveled

by CGotAnAccount



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Happy Ending, M/M, Pining, SHEITH - Freeform, allurance, not s8 compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-19 19:31:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17007807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CGotAnAccount/pseuds/CGotAnAccount
Summary: The visions seemed to split, flashing in and out at random. Sometimes it was him and Shiro sitting on the cliffs like old times, wolf in between them. Sometimes it was him alone with barely a nod in greeting as they passed each other in the hangar – cold, clinical. It sent a bolt of pain right through him.He sees two weddings.





	The Road Less Traveled

**Author's Note:**

> Catharsis.

It takes seeing Shiro walk down the aisle with another man to get Keith to admit that maybe he wasn't feeling particularly brotherly.

In fact, it had taken him seeing it several times played out in flashes. Krolia had eyed him with a feigned casual air when he came out of each burst of light panting and sweating as if in terror, but she had never pressed.

At first the flashes in the abyss had been benign scenes of how they met, the time they had spent in the desert with laughter echoing off the canyons and stars in their eyes. Krolia hadn't pried, but her look of interest in his life combined with his own inability not to talk about Shiro meant that he had happily spilled his guts about how great his best friend was. She had smiled at him, listening as she skewered meat and skinned tubers and interjecting with laughter and questions when appropriate. It had warmed him in a way he hadn't known he needed.

Too soon the visions gave way to a feral teen covered in dust and blood, tear streaked and screaming his throat raw at those stars. He couldn't find the words to stutter out a poor explanation, mouth suddenly dry and eyes pricking as he was dragged into his own personal hell. Grateful wasn't a strong enough word for the feeling that bubbled up in him as she rubbed a hand down his back and made herself scarce for his sake. He had wondered if it hurt her in the same way, seeing that desert again and knowing that Dad was dead and buried somewhere in its sands. Would she have howled her fury at the impassive cliffs as he had?

Probably not judging by the soothing influence she had on his own impulses – not that there was much of a way to act on them trapped on a whale in a space-time rip. He'd been training with her in a perfunctory manner just for the sake of keeping his conditioning but soon joined her for what was almost like the meditations Shiro used to do at the Garrison. Her insistence that a Blade needed to learn patience sent a pang through the gaping hole in his life.

It happens first during one such session, the usual flash spilling over their relaxed forms bringing not memory, but a cacophony of metal on plasma and the snarled grimace of his best friend. He scrambles to his feet gasping and shaking before tearing off into the brush to heave for what felt like hours, fists clenched into the ground when Krolia found him. His wolf nudged a cautious nose toward him.

“It doesn't have to be like that.” Her steady tone settles him before the words even register. “These visions are not futures set in stone.”

He lifts his tear streaked face to meet her eyes. “How can you be sure?”

She settles herself into the dirt by his side, palm never ceasing to rub his back. “I have heard of places like this, where time is different.” She closes her eyes, tipping her head back and inhaling deeply. “Sometimes I see things that cannot come to pass, my deepest desires and darkest fears.”

Keith's fists lift from the tracks they've carved into the soil. “I can't fight him.”

Krolia hums, palm shifting to cup his face. “You may need to, and it's best you be prepared.”

He throws himself into training after that, learning how to work seamlessly with his furry companion and finds his competitive streak activated when Krolia proposes knife throwing contests. He loses track of the weeks they've been there – the months? It doesn't seem to matter until they get where they are going. In the meantime he grows, he works... they talk. He heals.

Keith had never known how deeply he ached for something until he finally gets it. Afternoons spent together in quiet conversation and histories forcibly shared slowly morph Krolia into Mom and another crack in his heart welds itself shut. She becomes his rock when the visions flash brutally with Shiro's sword at his throat and he wakes up screaming, falling, face on fire and grasping uselessly for the wrist he couldn't let go of.

The aftermath was nearly worse.

The visions seemed to split, flashing in and out at random. Sometimes it was him and Shiro sitting on the cliffs like old times, wolf in between them. Sometimes it was him alone with barely a nod in greeting as they passed each other in the hangar – cold, clinical. It sent a bolt of pain right through him.

He sees two weddings.

He finally understands what his mom meant when she spoke of deepest desires... the vision of Shiro, white haired somehow, cradles his face so softly as their friends cheer and whoop behind them. He can see the glittering tears on his own reflection's lashes as their fingers tangle and rings clink. A noise that's half laugh half sob pushes into Shiro's mouth and Keith can't help but mimic it from where he stands struck in the river of time. Shiro looks so beautiful, his grin is bright and his eyes soft as Keith has ever seen them. His head ducks down to whisper his adoration in future Keith's ear and his own answer stops Keith's heart. “I love you Takashi.”

The vision warbles.

His face melts away, replaced by an unknown figure.

Shiro still smiles. Keith still has tears in his lashes. The similarities end there and a cold squirming seizes his heart like a vice as the light fades and Keith is wrenched back to reality. He lays panting on the ground, practically hyperventilating as he tries to make sense of anything.

“Keith.” His mother's presence is a salve on the open wound he didn't know he had. “Keith it's not set. Nothing is set.”

He shakes his head frantically at her, eyes wild, “I can't... he doesn't-” He cuts off and gapes for a moment, unable to even put to words how unbelievable it all was. “We aren't like that.”

She doesn't argue, merely pulls him into an embrace, tucking his face into her shoulder as she cups the back of his head and pets. “It would be alright if you were.”

More visions come, though none such a punch in the gut as that one. Shiro doing mundane things on earth, never quite smiling. Shiro making dinner for two, poking at it halfheartedly. Shiro waking up from a nightmare, drenched in sweat and the body next to his still sleeping soundly.

Never Shiro in the skies.

It hurts Keith in a way he didn't know he could. Shiro's entire life had been dedicated to exploration, his veins were filled with star dust. It reminded Keith of a painting one of the Matrons in the home had hung in the garage, never to see the light of day and eventually fading to nothing under a layer of grime - like buying the best hoverbike and keeping it pristine in the show room.

Sometimes he still gets flashes of the alternative, lazy mornings spent tangled in sheets, a sleek fighter with two captain's chairs and a dog bed, matching rings clinking on the metal containers of supplies as they hand them out on a damaged planet... it made him ache.

“You know, you two seem awfully close in those visions.” Krolia was skinning something she had brought back, not bothering to look up at Keith.

“He's... my brother in arms. My best friend.” He felt a prickling unease with the words and wrapped his arms around the wolf.

She glances up at him, expression free from judgment. “Is that how you'd like it to stay?”

Keith ducks his head into the fur and shrugs, muffling his response. “It doesn't matter, it's not like that.”

She peels the skin off in a long strip and drapes it over the firepit to char. “Have you asked him?”

He opens mouth to respond that it's obvious before pausing to consider her open face. “I... no.”

She flicks a piece of meat toward the wolf – effectively uncovering Keith when his furry shield lunges for his meal. “Then maybe you should think about it.” She leaves it at that and Keith can't do anything but stare into the fire and stew.

 

The days after meeting Romelle are a whirlwind and when Shiro is finally leaning over him, searing blade inches from his face, Keith knows he can't hold it to his chest any longer. He is prepared to die with this man, comforting himself with last thoughts of the times they've shared together and a brief flicker of grief that he never got to see any of those futures.

Then he wakes up, and Shiro comes back to him after he throws his agony to the void on top of the would-be casket. Some deity must know he'd rip apart reality and fight death itself if it meant getting Shiro back by his side.

But the war goes on.

It's not until he's been blown from the sky that he can say he's actually had time to rest and when he wakes to his mother at his bedside she seems less than impressed.

“You know, you could have just asked for a day off.” The corner of Kolivan's mouth twitches behind her.

She gives him a wobbly smile and pulls him gently into her arms, breathing in the scent of his hair. “Please don't scare me again.”

He coughs once trying to talk and she tips a cup of water into his mouth. “No promises.”

She sighs at him and ruffles his hair fondly. “You certainly are mine.” She gives him a sly look before clicking on the television in the corner to what looks like a giant funeral. Keith recognizes the voice immediately.

“Shiro... he's?”

Krolia nods, patting his hand. “He's fine, they're all fine.” She smirks, just a tiny bit. “He's been waiting for you to wake up, you know.”

Keith feels the heat creeping into his cheeks as he looks stubbornly at the screen. “I'm sure he was worried about all of us.”

Kolivan rumbles a rare chuckle before gesturing to the chair near the bed that Keith hadn't even noticed. There is a rumpled pillow jammed into the corner and a blanket tossed over the back. Shiro's new dog-tags are visible wedged halfway into the cushion.

“He couldn't find them this morning.”

“Oh...” Shiro had been sleeping at his bedside for who knows how long and Keith was forcibly reminded of those long ago visions on the whale of shared mornings in soft light, tangled up together. Judging by his mother's face she knows exactly what he's thinking of.

“Sweet isn't he?” She looks like the cat that got the canary.

Keith grumbles at her. “That doesn't mean that he-”

“Incoming.” Kolivan breaks in, gesturing at the screen where Shiro has wrapped up and is immediately accosted by the space wolf. He pops off the screen and with a pop and tang of ozone is deposited squarely onto the edge of Keith's bed.

The wolf looks smug.

“Hi.” Keith croaks up at his disoriented friend.

“Keith, you're awake!” Shiro's grin is blinding as he lurches forward to wrap Keith in his arms. “I was so worried about you.” His breath tickles Keith's ear and he can see his mom wink at him over Shiro's shoulder as she and Kolivan slink out.

Shiro doesn't even notice them go as he twists to ruffle the wolf's fur. “You are just the best boy.” The fluffy tail thumps on the floor before he gives a long lick up the side of Shiro's face and disappears with a pop.

Keith can't help but think they planned this ahead of time as he takes in their new privacy, but he doesn't have it in him to be upset – not when he has Shiro's full attention and a hand settled over his own.

He clears his throat and takes another sip of water. “How is everything?”

Shiro winces at his voice, thumb stroking over the back of Keith's hand. “Everyone is fine, we're rebuilding slowly.” He ducks his head shyly before peeking up at Keith through his lashes. “I've been a little distracted though, we didn't know if you were going to wake up.”

Keith rubs a knuckle underneath Shiro's palm. “Well I'm here now.”

They talk the rest of the evening, Shiro's hand never leaves Keith's and he settles into his chair until Keith nods off mid conversation. Only the night nurses passing by see the Captain of the Atlas press a kiss to the back of the Leader of Voltron's hand before he leaves for the night.

 

The war carries on unconcerned.

Shiro is caught up constantly in meeting after meeting, now unable to use the excuse that he's distracted by his team's well-being. He drifts in and out of board rooms and engine rooms, training new cadets and answering questions about Atlas until his vision blurs. He begins to answer all inquiries in his official leader tone, even from Keith. It becomes a joke with the paladins and they answer his questions with snarky salutes and 'sir's that are choked by barely concealed laughter. The exhilaration of getting things done wanes as pressure to be prepared mounts. The day before launch he demands everyone take a day off, but doesn't take his own advice.

He wonders briefly what Keith ended up doing while he's pouring over data readouts on the bridge.

 

Keith takes it in stride, understanding more than most how difficult it is to lead in stressful times. He doesn't begrudge the plans that get canceled or the ones they never had time to finalize. He saw this play out once before and resignation is a familiar feeling to him by now. His talk with Lance before his date is a spark though, and he detours from his walk home in an effort to catch Shiro on the bridge, maybe ask him on a date of his own before they take off.

He stops dead in the doorway. The man is there. Talking to Shiro.

It's all very professional of course, an exchange of data readouts and a thank you.

Keith instantly wonders at what point it changes, if he's already too late...

He stomps the feeling down viciously and drags himself to his room. It isn't right to be upset, he knew this could happen and did nothing.

…But he had hoped.

He throws himself into training again, carefully avoiding the gym where he had seen the man stretching in favor of crossing swords with the small blade contingent on board. He hasn't seen Shiro outside of a meeting in weeks.

At night bitter tears threaten to spill but he chokes them down and reminds himself that he saw this coming. He knew this was the end, but the images of their happy life together haunt him.

Even when he find himself at a cliff edge with a knife pressed to his throat all he can think of is how Shiro is there, of course it will be fine. Even if his throat is cut at least he'll die at the end here with him.

But Acxa does the talking and Veronica takes the shot... and Shiro stands and looks at him in shock.

Keith won't call it despair, what he's sunken into, more of a delayed car wreck that was set in motion in a space-time rip that filled his head with stupid dreams that he knows he'll never be the person to have. He eats, he sleeps, he pilots. He clings tightly to his friends and screams himself raw, beating against his barriers until exhaustion when they too are pulled from him. He throws everything he has into killing the psychopath trying to destroy the universe – not that he doesn't understand exactly why she would.

And in the end when Allura lies in a coma and Honerva dissolves into pure quintessence to join her family he takes stock of what he has left. His mother is waiting for him with Kolivan when they touch back down onto earth, triumphant as promised.

She smothers him in an embrace before pulling back and scrutinizing his bleak expression. “What's wrong?”

Keith opens his mouth to respond but chokes and closes it again with a shrug and a shake of his head. Shiro walks by them, giving them both a professional nod as he continues by. Keith flinches and buries his face in her shoulder again.

“Ah.” She wraps him up again and croons softly into his hair. “It is alright, cub. Rejection fades with time and is much easier to live with than regret. Your bond is too close to remain estranged for long.”

Keith stills in her arms with a grimace and Krolia pulls back with a searching look. “You did not try.”

He flinches and hears the smack of Kolivan dragging a hand down his face. “I... saw him.” Krolia raises an eyebrow prompting him to elaborate. “The other man.”

The eyebrow furrows. “Of course you did, the man's existence isn't an aspect you can change.”

Keith shrugs helplessly. “We don't even talk anymore-”

“Do you love him?”

Keith stills, heart beating out of control as he takes in their surroundings and the tearful crowds rejoining their loved ones. “Mom... this isn't the time...”

“That isn't what I asked.” Her eyes flash and for the first time Keith feels like a kid being scolded.

“Of course I do.” He whispers to his feet and wraps his arms around himself. “More than anything.”

She tips his chin up with her fingers and stares him down. “Then do something.” He blinks at her in confusion and she pushes his bangs back from his forehead to cup his face. “You are my son, and Galra do not give up their mates.” She presses a kiss to his forehead and steps back from him, taking Kolivan's hand. “Whatever your choice, you have the Blades as your family.”

Keith stews on her advice for weeks as celebrations continue and they remain wrapped up in debriefings. Lance remains on a bedside vigil with Coran that makes a part of Keith ache in sympathy. Sometimes he joins them to sit at Allura's bedside, watching her pulse ring steady on the monitor but not even a flicker under her eyelids. He stays until the nurses come to wash her - it feels wrong.

Hunk draws up designs for his culinary diplomatic campaign, Pidge busies herself making robots, and they all attend an irritating number of galas.

Lance never dances with anyone but his sister. Shiro still makes his mandatory appearance but doesn't dance at all. The man is always there somewhere.

Keith feels like time is sieving through his fingers but every time he goes to talk to Shiro and gets the professional polite smile his resolve crumbles and heart cracks a little further. It's easier to stay away than to have someone looking at him like they haven't thrown themselves into battle together, like they aren't brothers in arms.

Like all the touches and looks and late nights together meant nothing.

It burns him.

It comes to a head the week Allura wakes up, Coran is beside himself and Lance hasn't stopped to take a breath in days. He sits perched on the back of a couch next to Keith, babbling away about the future in a way that fills Keith's heart and stomps all over it at the same time.

“-and maybe someday we can have a little house near Mama's farm, I bet we'd make the cutest kids now that we both have these awesome marks... and we could get married in the backyard there!”

Keith tips his head back and smirks up at him. “Don't you think you should probably go on a second date first?”

Lance looses steam for a moment, brow furrowing. “Oh right.” He shoots a look over to Keith and punches him on the shoulder. “You and Shiro can go on a double date with us!”

Keith chokes on his spit and wheezes, heart clenching painfully as he curls into himself.

“Uh, buddy?” Lance hand settles gently on his shoulder. “Are you okay?”

Keith shakes his head but gives a wobbly thumbs up, not looking Lance in the eyes. “Fine.” His voice comes out rough and choked.

“Are you two... okay?” Lance presses his hand more firmly and slides down the back of the couch to sit next to Keith. “You didn't break up or anything did you?”

Each word is a kick in the gut.

Keith takes a breath and steels himself as he looks Lance in the eyes. “We never... we...” He shakes his head and clenches his eyes shut.

Lance balks. “What do you mean? You two were always all...” Keith shakes his head more frantically as he trails off and Lance thinks back over the last year of stoic professionalism and 'sirs'. “Oh no... buddy I'm sorry.” He wraps an arm around Keith's shoulders tentatively. “I didn't know that idiot turned you down.”

Keith chokes on a sound and shrinks into himself. “He never had to.”

Lance tips his head in confusion. “He never had-” his jaw drops in indignation and he shoves Keith off the couch. “You never even _told_ him?”

Keith hits the ground with a thump and scowls up at him, rubbing his face. “Well he stopped talking to me so what's the damn point.”

“He stopped talking to everyone!” Lance threw his hands into the air. “He hasn't had a moment to unclench his perpetually tight asshole in years!”

Keith shrugs mutinously. “I was never 'paladin' before.” He softens a little and darts a vulnerable look up to Lance on the couch. “Besides, what if he could be happy with someone else...”

Lance glares back down at him with a scoff. “Yeah, and what if Allura could be happier with an Altean?”

Keith's head snaps up as he stares at him wide-eyed. “I didn't mean-”

“I know you didn't” Lance cuts him off with an eye roll. “Do you see how stupid you sound now?” Keith deflates and Lance sighs deeply. “If you love him you need to make your move.”

Keith doesn't look up from the ground but gives a tiny nod. Lance scowls at the back of his head.

“I mean it. Veronica's friend Curt asked her about Shiro.”

Keith's head snapped up, panic wild in his eyes. “Bridge crew, right side lower deck?”

“Uh, I guess?”

“Fuck!” Keith's face is painted with his anguish and Lance startles back at his shout. “I'm too late.” He chokes on a sob and curls into his knees, cursing himself as he fists hands into his hair.

Lance is utterly at a loss. “Dude... he just asked if he was single like today... he hasn't even asked him out yet.” He puts a hand on Keith's shuddering back as if he were a wild animal. “And I think you could take him.”

Keith uncurls and twists toward Lance, grabbing at his knees with wild eyes. “Lance.” He scrambles to his feet and dashes out of the room, leaving a bewildered Lance on the couch.

He sprints down the hallways, dodging staff and weaving around cadets as he tears through the building. His heart is pounding in his throat as he wheels the final corner and sees the man walking from the other direction toward Shiro's quarters. Keith barrels down the hallway like his future depends on it, skidding to a halt in front of Shiro's door and slapping a hand to the security pad.

He wants to weep when it's still coded to his palm.

Shiro sits on his bed reading and startles at the door. “Wha- Keith?”

Keith holds up a single finger, hands on his knees as he wheezes. Curtis has slowed his approach with an uneasy look on his face.

“Uh, sir?” He holds up a salute to Keith that he returns, straightening up but still wheezing.

“Curtis.” He pants out, “I have confidential business with the Captain that can't wait.”

“Oh, ah...” Curtis scratches the back of his head awkwardly and shift his weight from foot to foot. “Of course sir.” He looks at the open door, and Keith's green palm print before turning and walking away.

Keith slumps back over in a flood of relief and exhaustion before stumbling inside, door sliding shut behind him.

Shiro cocks an eyebrow at him as Keith slumps into the chair. “Should I call med bay?” His teasing smirk sparks Keith's resolve.

“No. You should call me more often.”

“I... what?” Shiro's head tilts like a confused puppy. “I call you...” He trails off, eyes pinching.

“We don't.” Keith breathes out in a whoosh and pulls himself upright backwards against the chair. “We don't talk, and I miss you.” He's proud of how steady his voice comes out.

“I'm... sorry Keith.” Shiro voice is tight and his face is troubled. “I guess it's been a while hasn't it?”

“Since I came out of the hospital.” Keith tries not to sound accusatory. “And I don't know if it is on purpose but Shiro-” He falters, fists clenching on the chair as he struggles for words. “I thought that we were...”

Shiro slides off the bed and kneels before the chair. “Keith.” He grabs a fist and smooths his thumb over it until the hand relaxes. “I'm sorry, I... I wanted to spend time together after that but we were so busy...”

Keith's shuddering breath cuts him off. “When was the last time you touched me like this?” He curls his hand around Shiro's. “When was the last time you said my name?”

Shiro opens his mouth but nothing comes out save for a hitched breath. His eyes search Keith's face and down to the hand in his own. “I..”

“Please Shiro,” Keith cuts him off, dropping his head onto the back of the chair. “I can't lose you to this after so many near misses.”

The hand around his is trembling now and Shiro's heart has lodged firmly in his throat. “Keith...” He rests his own head against Keith's and feels the breath shuddering through him. “I will never leave you. You said we were brothers-”

A wild laugh cuts him off, too loud from below and he startles back in time to avoid Keith's head whipping up. “Shiro the last thing I want to be is your brother.” Keith looks slightly crazed. “I didn't cry myself to sleep over the visions of your wedding to another man because I wanted to be your brother.” His fingers clench and the wood creaks beneath his hands. “I didn't wonder every day if I was too late when you wouldn't even call me by my name because I wanted to be your _brother_ ” He throws his face into his hands with a hysterical giggle. “Why the fuck did I even say that?”

Shiro is ashen before him, staggered back onto his haunches as Keith breaks down. “Keith...”

Keith shakes his head. “Look I know, it's been a year of not even talking.” He huffs out a pained breath. “I thought that day in the hospital... I thought we were...” He chokes off, finally feeling the tears he'd been avoiding begin to prick at his eyes. “I'm too late.”

Shiro surges forward at the broken tone. “No.” He cups Keith's face in his hands, wiping the tears away. “No, Keith, you would never be too late.” Keith tries to duck his head away but Shiro's hands stop him. “Please, look at me.” Dark eyes meet his and Shiro's heart breaks. “That day in the hospital... it was you. I-I wanted...” He trails off, dropping his eyes to his lap.

Keith swallows, throat clicking audibly. “I wanted you to kiss me.”

Shiro snaps his head back up. “Do you still?”

Keith nods between the hands cradling him. “More than anything in the universe.” He can't bear to close his eyes as Shiro leans up and presses gently against his lips, too terrified this is all a dream.

Shiro pulls back and whispers against his lips- “I love you.” -and Keith shatters completely, crushing him to his mouth and sobbing his relief into it.

He gasps words between kisses. “God Shiro I love you.” Hands dig into short hair as he scrambled for purchase. “I love you.” The chair tips precariously and then goes lurching sideways, sprawling him across Shiro's chest. It doesn't slow him. “For so long, Shiro I-” He chokes on emotion and slumps onto Shiro's splayed form on the floor.

“It's okay Keith.” Shiro wraps an arm around his trembling form, pressing a kiss into his hair. “You're okay. I've got you. I love you.”

Keith lets out a soft noise and buries his face further in Shiro's chest, hands smoothing down his hair compulsively, like he'll disappear if he stops for even a second. Shiro cradles him closer, whispering his love into dark locks until the shaking subsides and Keith has nothing left but exhausted sniffles.

“Hey.” Shiro nudges his chin and Keith looks up into his face, eyes pink. “Are we okay?”

Keith nods and tries to bury his face back in Shiro's chest, embarrassed.

“Don't hide, please.” Shiro's pained tone stops him and Keith pulls his eyes back to his face, thumbs still stroking over his buzzed hair. “Why now?” Keith's brows pull together and Shiro scrambles to clarify. “Why not before I meant, I've loved you this whole time.”

Keith slumps against his chest and sighs. “It's a long story.”

Shiro's laugh rumbles through Keith's chest. “Well, if you ever want to tell me we have the entire rest of our lives.” He tangles their hands together and rubs Keith's ring finger with a meaningful look.

Keith's breath catches and for the first time he dares to believe the visions. He smiles down at Shiro and presses a kiss to his chin.

“First, I think we have a double date.”

 

 


End file.
